Sept. 03, 2003 - 3:08 p.m.
27.
Thats how old I am now. Well, how old I have been for the last 4 days.
Old.
I never thought I'd make it this far. No, I'm not one of those tragic people who have lived a hard life and have thought about comitting suicide many times through out the course of their life. Nor have I lived a horrible life, or an adventurous life that would cause be to die before this 27th year of my life. No, I life a practical, calm life compared to some (ok, most), but the reason I never thought I'd live this long is that I never thought about it. I never have much cared about the future. My personal philosophy is "I may get hit by a bus tomorrow for all I know" Now, this is not some "Live every day as if its your last" philosophy, its more of the "I'm a horrible planner" philosophy. I'm just not a planner. I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. OK, I kinda wanna be a librarian type o' thingy. I just have to do things in that direction now.
Maybe be I'm just lazy. Which I am - don't get me wrong, I'm the first to admidt that I'm lazy! But I really think its due to lack of ambition. Like in grade school art class a little dab will do ya, so it is for ambition. I need a little bit to kick me in the ass to get me going.
I don't wanna grow up. But I don't wanna stay here.
I know I'm going to have to change something. My life is calling for it. My relationship is calling for it. My ass is calling for it - its getting real fat just sitting here.
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