Apr. 23, 2007 - 4:19 p.m.
Ninjac and the Horrible, Horrible Weekend.
Ninjac was peacefully sleeping one Friday morning after pressing the snooze button, when her cellphone rang.
�Patty?� Said a voice Ninjac drozily recognized as her father.
�No, its Ninjac.� Said Ninjac, making sure that it really was 5:30 am and not much later as usually happens when she falls back asleep after hitting the �snooze� button which in fact turns out to be the off button. �Is everything alright?�
�Well, I�m in the hospital in Greenbelt. I got some food stuck in my esophagus last night and I couldn�t get it out. I�ve been in the emergency room since 10 last night.� He had been visiting DC with a group of Boy Scouts since Tuesday.
�What? Is there anybody with you? Where are the boy scouts? Is there anything I can do?� Nothing wakes you up faster than an emergency call at 5:30 in the morning.
�Frank Holly is here. The boy scouts are still at the campsite. The doctors finally gave me some acid to dissolve it. I should be out of here in a couple of hours. I�ll call Patty.�
�Or have Frank call Patty. Call me back if you need anything.� Now, to some people this may sound kinda heartless of Ninjac to just dismiss this tragedy, but Dad had been getting food stuck in his esophagus a lot over the past 15 years and this is old hat for him. And Frank Holly was an old family friend, whom Ninjac thought, could keep his head in emergency situations, and Ninjac was pretty stressed out over a meeting she had to give a presentation at. So, Ninjac got up, showered, and went to work. Making sure that her cellphone was with her the whole time.
Two hours pass.
She gets a call from her sister Patty.
�Ninjac. The food didn�t dissolve. He is scheduled for surgery at 6. I�m dropping my kids off at Missy�s and I�m going up to see Dad. Mom�s worried that they will want to stretch his esophagus. Or something worse. I�ll call you later.�
Upon hearing this Ninjac, who is cool under pressure and calm in emergencies, promptly freaked out. There is nothing worse than hearing about an emergency that one can really do nothing about. Ninjac has no ninjamobile, and no idea what she could do to help if she did go visit her Dad. So she told her bosses about the situation and called Missy to offer her help. But none was needed. So Ninjac went to her meeting.
Two hours pass.
She gets a call from her mother.
�Why didn�t you call me this morning to tell me your father was in the emergency room!� She yelled. Ninjac felt like she just got a howler.
�I thought Dad called you last night before he went in! I thought Frank might�ve called you! I don�t know why he called me! No one ever calls me first! I�m always the last to know so I just figured that�s what happened!�
�Well, I�m sorry I yelled, but no, no one called me until Patty called at 8!� So, Ninjac informed her mom on everything she knew to which her mom replied; �I�m going to lock him in the basement until he loses weight and gets it into his skull to start following his doctor�s diet!!!�
Ninjac laughed nervously at this knowing that her mom might just do that. Then she went back to her meeting awaiting the next phone call with news.
Two hours pass.
She gets a call from Missy, the most down to earth saintly sister-in-law God ever made.
�The food finally dissolved enough for it to go down. Dad is drugged to high heaven with pain killers and muscle relaxers. The doctors want to look at his esophagus to make sure no damage was done. They�ll do it around 6. Oh, the boyscouts left Charlie, but took your dad�s van back home with them. So we�ll need to figure out how to get them home.� Charlie is the youngest of the Ninjac clan and 13 years old.
�What!?!?! They took his van? Are these boy scouts or ***� At this point Ninjac remembered that she worked at a church and there were a lot of foundation members roaming around so she didn�t finish the sentence outloud, but Missy understood. �I�ll come out tonight and if I have to rent a car and drive em home I will.�
Everything turns out fine the next day and Daddy and Charlie leave around noon with their one-way rental car. I go to Patty�s house to help watch her kids and three other kids she picked up somewhere.
The day is fine, the weather is beautiful. The kids are playing great together. Its the first sunny beautiful day since before Easter so everyone is outside. First one kid falls and scraps his knee. Then another. Then sweet baby Annette falls face first on the sidewalk. We decide to take all eight kiddies to a playground. Because we are insane.
We get half way down the block and Bridget � Goddaughter extraordinaire � falls off her razor scooter (which are evil, by the way) and is in so much pain that she can�t even touch her own leg. We call 911 and an ambulance comes and takes Patty and Bridget away.
Ninjac is left with 7 screaming kids. Granted only four were screaming but Ninjac was a little overwaught with having no kids a few seconds ago to suddenly having 7 kids, all hungry and scared.
Ninjac�s ninja skills failed her. Jumping soundlessly from rooftop to rooftop in pitch blackness not useful with hungry kids. Being able to soundlessly slip from shadow to shadow in broad daylight didn�t come in handy with four under 3 years olds running down the street chasing the ambulance. The ancient tradition of the pizza delivery did help though. And so did the ancient order of ice cream and movie watching.
Ninjac was able to get all kids fed, changed and sleeping by around 8:30 thanks to some neighborhood ninjas that just happened to be practicing their ninja skills nearby. Praise to the ancient order of the stay at home moms! And Bridget returned home with only a bruised knee and a brace to make sure it stays that way. Ninjac went to bed.
Sunday dawned nice and bright with everyone cheerful and feeling great!
Two hours passed.
Ninjac was struck down by a migrane and had to be carted back to DC.
Two hours passed.
Ninjac�s trusty cellphone figured that nothing had happened in two hours so it decided to just stop working.
Ninjac stopped caring and cocooned herself deeper in her covers, took four advil and fell asleep. Hoping that the horrible, horrible weekend would come to an end and not become a horrible, horrible week.
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