Feb. 13, 2006 - 4:52 p.m.
Since its close to Valentines day, I�ve decided to write a diary entry dedicated to love. All types! YAY!!!
First of all I hate what Valentines day has become. Somehow it has lost the pre-christian ideal of running around nekkid covered in goats blood trying to mate and has now become a day in which if you haven�t given your significant other jewelry, chocolate, flowers or some stoopid kissing animals then you do not love that person. Not to mention the guilt you should possess if you do not have a significant other on that day, you worthless, unlovable piece of scum you. It has even lost the brotherly love festive feelings that the Christians first tried to promote when they routed the pagan traditions, and renamed it St. Valentines Day. You don�t even hear it referred to Saint Valentines Day anymore. Well, unless you are Catholic. Damn, its even forgotten the kill thy brother mentality of the Chicago mafia. So sad. It had such an awesome sounding name: THE SAINT VALENTINES DAY MASSACRE!!!
I think we should reclaim St. Valentines Day. No, don�t run around nekkid covered in goats blood (well you can if you really want to, but don�t hold me responsible if the coppers throw you in jail, or if you catch a cold), but I think we should use St. Valentines Day as a day were we remember our friends and family and how much we love them, and why we love them, and why they love us. Kind of like how Thanksgivings supposed to be. And if you get to tell them, that�s great. If you don�t that�s great too, because they will still love you anyways.
Secondly, I�d like to wonder what the guacamole dip is going on with a certain person who accuses one of my friends with unspeakably skanky things which are totally untrue and then keeps calling us up and either hanging up right away or yelling some unsavory things and then hanging up before letting my friend say anything else wise. That person should remember all of the things my friend has done for them and shut their filthy little mouth. The person should also do well to take her own words into consideration and if we are indeed �dead to them� then they shouldn�t be calling us in the first place. In other words: She didn�t do anything you are accusing her of doing sooo please shut the belgium up!!!!
Thirdly, I was strolling around the internet one day and found this little piece on Johnathon Carroll�s website about the kind of love this woman was looking for. It totally fits into what I think being loved is all about so I thought I�d post it here, (btw: I haven�t read any of his books but I do love his blog):
�An excerpt from a letter. Friends and family were discussing an extraordinary woman who, for some mysterious reason, has had only medium luck in love. Someone who knows her very well said this:
"She wants what very few people know how to give. She wants all the simple things. Not many people know how to do simple anymore. She wants grilled cheese sandwiches at home dipped in ketchup served on a paper plate, not dinner at an expensive restaurant. She wants to sit on the beach at sunset, not some far away exotic vacation. She wants a handwritten note that says I care about you, not some piece of jewelry that was financed over three years. She wants you to brush her hair, not send her to some spa for a day.
"And she wants things even simpler than that. Simple things that it seems like we have all forgotten. She wants you to ask her before you kiss her for the first time and the second. She wants you to hold her hand while you're watching re-runs together on the couch. She wants you to look at her when you talk to her. You guys, not just you, but so many guys have it all wrong. You think it is about where you take her and what you buy her for her birthday and for Christmas and you think it is about figuring out how her mind works. You think it is about being the best lover she ever had and you think it is about what she thinks of your career and your friends and your families and you think it is about all kinds of things that would never matter to her.
"As far as she's concerned, you can go out with the guys as often as you like. She *wants* you to have fun and enjoy yourself. You can have a job that keeps you and calls you away from home. She wants you to be happy with your work and she wants you to succeed. You can be so-so in bed. She wants to learn your body and have you learn hers. You can be greedy and selfish and demanding from time to time. She wants to work things through with you. You can see her once a week or once a month. She just wants to make the most of the time you get together.
"What does she want? That�s what someone asked. All she wants is to be loved, simply. Just like she loves everything in her life. There is no complex formula to the way she lives. Everything for her is simple and easy because everything comes from her heart. She wants to be loved from your heart. And no one in her life has done that yet because people spend way too much time over-thinking things and over-analyzing things and doing stupid things and finding reasons not to just love from the heart. "
And then he got up and left. And no one said another word.�
And lastly, I think, I want to include a card that I wrote to my sister because I want to. And because its about how much I love her and it sort of fits in with my theme today�
I was trying to find a card that expressed how great you were to me while I was growing up. How much I wanted to be like you in every way. How much I wanted to act like you towards my little sister. And how sorry I was for not being able to. I wanted the card to remind you of all the fun times we had together. The times we ate nothing but peanuts at the playground. The times you gave Snuggle Bear an operation so I wouldn�t be so worried about my own, or yours. The times you would hold my when I was falling asleep. Or the times when you let me hang out with you even though you were on a date with your boyfriend.
I wanted it to play all of those old songs we used to sing at the top of our lungs with the window down.
I wanted a card that would show you some of the times you would kick me into bed even when I was in college.
I wanted a card that could hold all the tears I cried the night you got married and I went off to college because I knew our relationship would never be the same. That you had grown up and that I would have to too.
Then the card would show you how happy I was when I realized that growing up with you prepared me for being a grown up.
And, of course, the card would have to show all the feelings that I have when I hold your new children in my arms for the first time, such a mixture that I don�t even know the words to explain them. And how much I cherish our tiny bits of being together now.
But I couldn�t find a card that had all of that so I hope this one will fill its place.
And I know this is your baby shower, but it seemed like a good time to tell you how much I love you �cause I know I don�t do it enough.
And since I�m writing about love let me just say this. Lovely Miss Alicia � I love spending Sunday going to mass with you and then brunch at Pete�s Diner. You are the only person I know that I can totally make fun of church to and not get offended. We are both going to hell and if hell is filled with people like you, it will not seem like hell at all. (that�s a compliment!). And Super Beth B, some of my favorite memories of the past couple of years are of us hanging out painting/making something and talking about things, and coming up with new catch phrases. Of course most of my favorite memories are of just hanging out with you, doing crazy dances in the car, calling other people ass hats because we want to, picking boyfriends for each other, going shopping, and of course getting you drunk and listening to you yell SAUSAGES at the top of your lungs. I love you guys!!!
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